Religion: please or no thank you

I was looking to see what upcoming holidays were coming up and it made me ponder on something that has been on my mind here and there.

Although I grew up in a religious household I never grew up with it feeling like it was a part of my identity.  I never really cared that it didn't or that it wouldn't - it was just the way it was and I was totally fine with that.

However once I became a mother I started to think about religion more and more. I don't know if it was after the fiftieth time I heard my mom say a Punjabi phrase that is somewhat equivalent to "oh, God bless his heart" when A smiled at her or if it was after the nth time a proud church goer came to our door to tell us how awesome their church is and we are missing out for not going, but something got me thinking.  Was I doing my children wrong by not being a religious person?  Are they going to grow up incomplete?  

I got to a point to where I realized this is not something I can dwell on alone and after plenty of "don't worry our kids will be fine and be great" from Dude was not enough I did what any rational person would do... I posted the thought and question on Facebook. I got quite a few responses from friends and friends of friends and came out of the experience feeling much better about who I was and how I am as a mother and a person.  People from all religious backgrounds all said the same thing - as long as you teach them to be good people and love they will be great.  

Not that I need Facebook comments to tell me what to do but it did help that people that I know that know me well and some that do not validated what I knew all along.  Love and respect your children and teach your children to love and respect others - that is the base and foundation.

For some, religion provides a common base and foundation.  I don't want to exclude my children from having that so Dude and I are coming up with our own base and foundation.  Some of the very same fundamentals found in most religions: don't lie, respect everyone, show love to be loved and so on.    

I do want to open the boys to religion and ultimately leave it to them to choose.  When A & J are old enough we can have them learn about Hanukkah, Easter, Diwali, Baisakhi, Ramadan, Bastille Day and all the other special events that take place in various religions. It will be a great learning experience for all of us in the family to do together.

Jar of Sin

The evil jar starts luring you in with the word "crunchy" (well maybe not for everyone else but for me it does, so go with it).  Then once the jar is opened and you crack open the seal... sniff... ah, the aroma of roasted peanuts fills your nasal cavities and automatically your mouth starts to salivate (and perhaps makes you thirsty for some milk).  As you may have guessed it the "Jar of Sin" is peanut butter.  Well at least it is for me.  

Whenever I have a spoonful (or five!) of the stuff I feel like such a horrible mother.  What does peanut butter have to do with being a horrible mother you might ask.  No, I don't torture my children by making them have a mouthful of this stuff after they ran a marathon outside as I hold the milk carton hostage and laugh in their face.  I am a horrible mother because I have to indulge in my guilty pleasure of peanut butter at work, away from my kids.  It makes me feel like I am cheating!

Why oh why out of all things must A be allergic to PEANUTS!  Well along with the rest of his lengthy list of allergies and food impairments.  I love peanut butter and now the only way I can enjoy it is if I slyly buy a jar to keep at my desk at work.  They probably think I am a fiend who is addicted to peanut butter because I always have a jar and come 10am or so it's go time with my favorite snack... sliced apples with tons of peanut butter.

I could just see it in my head unfolding... the cheating affair!  Dude brings A & J to work to surprise me and A comes into my cube and asks "What is that smell Mama?" and then I get the glare of "oh no you didn't" from Dude as my head hangs lower and lower and then grab A into a tight hug to show that I am guilty but I love you so much.  Of course, this is after I have gone into the bathroom and washed my hands, brushed my teeth and sanitized my desk to avoid a peanut outbreak (remember this is all in my head so it all works out).

A little dramatic?  Yes.  Motherly dose of guilt? Yes.  Will I still go on to enjoy my peanut butter?  Oh yes.

I'm sorry A, but you know that Mama loves you and if I had to ultimately choose it would be no contest - you would win every time hands down.