Work-Life Balance?

Okay, so in a previous post amongst my rant about being so busy I mentioned that I resigned from my current job and will be starting a new job this upcoming week.  Well tomorrow is my first day at the new job.  I'm all over the place about how I feel about it... excited, thrilled, relieved, nervous, scared, guilty, and hesitant.  Let me explain....

I have had this great cushy job for almost three years.  My boss was not the type that would walk in the room and seem approachable but regardless he was an awesome boss.  He kept me out of the line of fire when the queen (actually it was a dude) of a CEO we had was looking for the next victim.  He also was really simple - as long as the work got done it didn't matter where I was doing it which meant that he was totally fine with me working from home 2-3 days out of the week so that I could be home with my son.  I always got my work done but it was so nice to be able to do the work in my pajamas and with my son playing on the floor right next to me. 

However our company was recently acquired and as anyone would do - my boss found a new job elsewhere.  I wasn't really looking for new work as I was hoping to get a good size severance and be able to be home with my son (peanut) until he was close to a year old before I started to look.  Oh but how life is funny and how things come up out of no where.  I had applied to some 40 or so jobs online and really was just doing a test run.  You know, practice sending out my resume and hopefully get some interview practice as well.  Well, I did and I guess my skills were not so rusty because I got an offer!  I was thrilled - it was at a large corporation (which is what I wanted) and it was with a fantastic company and apparently they are known for telecommuting and working well with working moms (we'll have to see) so of course I was at a cross road.

After several sleepless nights (yes, well peanut waking up doesn't count when it comes to this) and pointless (one sided) conversations with Dude I came to the conclusion that it would be better in the long run if I took the new job.  I know that there will be great opportunities for me there and wonderful connections to be made but I can't shake off the guilt and hesitancy because I won't be able to spend the same amount of time I do now with peanut and I don't want to regret that later.  I mean he's only going to be this young once!  I've been trying to prepare myself by leaving earlier to go to work (my current job) and I haven't worked from home... well its not like I can since I have only a few days before my last day.  I gotta say its been tough and quite trying on me and from what I see and have heard it has been hard on peanut too.... which is the worst part.  During this past long weekend I spent every waking moment possible with him so we both get our share of mommy and baby time before I start the work week again.  I guess that is how I will have to play this out - by compensating the time I am not here with plenty of face time during the weekend and first thing in the mornings and last thing in the evenings.  I don't mind but it just becomes difficult when other things in "life" get in the way.

Super Mom or Super Crazy

Doesn't the title of this already give enough for you to make a judgement about me already?  You guessed it.  I have found myself in a downward spiral of self sabotage.  I'm trying to do it all - which of course means doing too much!  However I find myself always finding my second, third, fiftieth wind! 

I mean don't get me wrong I know that there are millions of moms (and dads) that do a hundred and one things everyday for their kids, spouses, parents, and everyone else in between.  However this is the first time that I am adding on a whole seperate laundry list of things to do in a day, week, month, year, lifetime than what I had before.  I think I just got too ambitous to make up for the last trimester (of my pregnancy) since I was on bedrest.  Just to give you an idea of what I have done or am doing so far...  I am a lead mom for one playgroup, I started and lead my own playgroup (yes a totally different playgroup), I am the co-chair of speaker events for a non-profit volunteer based parents group, I am the co-coordinator for an upcoming festival in our local area for children, trying to find a good preschool, looking for good swim classes, and I belong to two book clubs and this is all while I am/have planned two baby showers, two bachelorette parties, three bridal showers, two birthday parties (for adults), one kids birthday party, manage two yahoo! groups, resigned from my current job and will be starting a new job this coming week (which I will talk more about at another time), manage the chaos in my life and others (I know, I should be getting paid for it but I'm not), and all while I keep the bills paid, a clean house, a happy husband, and even happier baby boy.

No, I'm not trying to brag but it helps to just have them all out on black and white so that I can keep track as well. Maybe I'm not super mom or super crazy but just normal... a super crazy mom.